I tell people you can do it by yourself. People ask me how I’ve managed to do it, and say it’s like you’re a little kid, you just start thinking and then you get to a point and you get to a point of self-actualization. Then you realize you’ve got to put on this mask and put on this outfit. But I say, it’s much like being a little kid. You’ll think, oh this is it. And you’ve got to say, no I’m not. Maybe this is just another phase of my life, you know, and you can kind of get into it and say, no no this is my life. You go through periods of intense pain but there’ll always be some kind of resolution. The most difficult thing for me is dealing with my anxiety and it is almost to my detriment, as far as how I approach the world. I don’t know how to act. People can’t keep me focused. It’s just something you can’t do in most people.
What was your worst nightmare when you were 8?
I remember having one that was literally the worse. It wasn’t even a nightmare. We were going to school. I was scared. I was getting my picture taken, you know. I was supposed to be there in a couple of days, and I didn’t make it.
How bad was it?
Yeah, my face hit my face. The worst.
[LAUGHTER] How bad was it?
[LAUGHTER] Wow. Yeah. It’s like, holy shit.
You were in some pretty scary circumstances. You were in jail. What was that like?
It was terrible. It was terrifying. I had a pretty dark past and it wasn’t pretty. I was there and I had to figure out how to escape the situation. I came to the conclusion that [Jody and John had beaten me and they were going to keep me there and beat me up] and I just went over there to get away from them and I was literally a wreck. I had no idea who [was I] talking to. I’m looking right at my eyes right now. But it was just a lot to deal with.
What about the things you have that are normal for a 8-year-old. How did you find your voice and what does it mean to be a good role model?
I started being a role model at age
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