If you’re a teacher, you get paid on a per-diem basis. You can pay for a coaching phone call, or to have a trainer come over. I’m not saying you can’t be a personal coach like an athlete, but they are limited and specific to sports, so you have to ask yourself, “What does my child need the most? Is it their grades? Is it their body language? Is it their behavior and their relationships? Is it something I can help them solve?”
The more often they’re coached in the moment of crisis, they learn from it, they have success, and they gain self-confidence and confidence throughout that entire life. And that can have a lifetime effect on their self esteem. What’s your relationship like with your young athletes? Do you spend time with them when they’re struggling to learn skills and perform as well as they should in a sport?
Oh, most of the time we’re away in the hotel room in New Orleans. We spend most of the time with our kids. We don’t think about it, but that’s what keeps them focused on what they have to do. And because of the discipline that we give them, they’re more productive in learning new skills, as opposed to learning from an external voice or an authority figure.
We’ve been practicing, and I get the distinct feeling that my kids have a lot more interest in their own physical self than they do an external voice. If I see it or hear it, I make sure it’s something they want, rather than their coach telling them what they need to focus on; that’s counterproductive. What’s that time of crisis? That’s when they need to talk to someone. Why wouldn’t they speak to themselves? Why wouldn’t they have the opportunity to talk to other people?”
You started coaching as an adult with your son, so what’s the secret to his success?
I told him two years ago, “I’m not your coach. I’m your coach’s coach. I’m not your friend. We can help each other but I’m not your friend. If I’m not right for you, I won’t be your friend.” And that resonated with him.
He started his career with another guy in college, and he was frustrated because he didn’t really know how to get better. A lot of kids go to college and they’re good and they get a scholarship and they’re a little star athlete and they don’t take
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